The Connection between Boundaries and Exhaustion | Don't let people use you as an energetic bin
We learn boundaries as children; then, we understand where we end, and the person begins. Ideally, if we have been lucky enough to have people around us, a family that has spent some time explaining the difference between who I am and who others are, and personal space, we may have an understanding of "this is me", and we have an understanding of what a "sense of self" is and perhaps be less willing to compromise that for other people. This is me; this belongs to me; I am the keeper; I'm the one in charge of keeping this healthy, to keep this going, to keep this functioning properly, either physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and energetically.
We may go through phases in life when we are exhausted or fatigued for whatever reason. Especially if we've been through some trauma or challenging times, perhaps we're going through grief, with just gave birth or we are going through a separation, illness, there has debilitated the physical self and is taking a very long time to recuperate the energy and to feel healthy and strong enough to put ourselves back out there, or we have to be out there even though we don't feel hundred per cent. What happens when we are so fatigued and exhausted, we are not sleeping very well, we don't have time to exercise, we don't have resources to eat healthy, and we fall into bad habits or unhealthy routines, whatever the reason? When exhaustion goes on for a very, very long time, for example, if we're going through grief, we just lost a parent, and we use inner resources that will keep us going for 45 days.
In these 45 days, we are using the energy within, the inner resources, to keep going. Also, when we go through grief, we may feel quite disconnected and isolated; inside a bubble, there's a bit of confusion going on, low mood, a lot of intense emotions and being overwhelmed. If we do not reconnect with reality, which means reconnecting with the telluric energies of the earth and the celestial energy, the sky or universal energy and also reconnecting through healthy relationships, the people we love have these nice exchanges of energy with the people around u; wee start absorbing energy from the environment. When we start absorbing energy from the environment around us, what may happen is that we start absorbing everything, not filtering energy, taking in and absorbing whatever is available to survive. For example, suppose you work in a dysfunctional place, in a hospital, with many people or in a challenging situation. In that case, you start absorbing whatever is out there without filtering the energy that is getting in. This means that you get in your system not just the nourishing energy but also toxic, polluted energy and your capacity to distinguish between what's good for you, for your system and what's not; it's failing you at that time. What happens is, and you can do this straight away, you can notice if you are feeling quite exhausted and the first symptom you may be experiencing is overthinking, negative thoughts, overwhelming thoughts, repetitive thoughts; there are times you also question: "Are these my thoughts? "
Because you are now absorbing these negative energies, this energy is now influencing you also on a mental level, on an emotional level, you're taking on things that do not belong to you, and the risk is that if you start identifying yourself with this thoughts, feelings and emotions, you will get so drained to the point that you have nothing left. You certainly don't want this to happen; you can continue like this for a very long time, but the quality of life will be compromised. When you realise that you are touching the bottom and have nothing left, now is the time to stop and take a break and understand that nourishing the self is essential, not just for your well-being, but to maintain your sense of self. The more you are tired, the more people will take from you, and it's just a natural law of life. For example, when you see an animal dying, the first thing that happens, especially in the wild, is that a vulture will go and eat them because nothing goes to waste in the animal kingdom.
But suppose a person doesn't have the capacity to hold self-boundaries. In that case, it automatically happens that other people unconsciously will go and take from them, and you don't want that to happen. I have seen this happening so many times. I once was with a friend; she was exhausted and going through a tough time. We were having this conversation about how tired she was that she couldn't go to work, she couldn't do anything, and suddenly another friend came through and started talking to her about all her problems. She started complaining and complaining, and I looked at her and then at the other person, and I thought, this is precisely what happens if you're unable to keep your boundaries and to say NO people, they will go on and throw rubbish at you.
They will use you as an energetic bin; as you recognise what is happening in your life, then you can do something about it, and it's your responsibility to do something about it. You have to take time out, you have to stop right now, and I know that life has to keep going, and we have children, we have a job, but your energy is precious, your body is precious, your well-being is precious, don't let anybody take that away from you. It is your responsibility to take care of that, nobody else. It would be fantastic if we were living in a world where people would notice things or would come and help without us asking for things, but this is not the reality we live in; you have to develop self-awareness to know when to stop when to say no when to put a boundary in place because life will take from you, even when you don't have it. It's not that we knew these things before; life's life goes on and on. Still, you have to make your own rules, create your own system and how you want to be treated by other people, and observe how you treat other people because it's never a one-way road; there are always two ways. Otherwise, this world would be just made of good people. All the bad people will leave; God knows where!
