The importance of Conscious Communication during conflicts.
Understandably, nobody wants to be hurt or confronted by others; however, thinking or hoping this will never happen could prevent a beautiful opportunity for self-growth, inner resolution and profound awakening.
One common issue is poor or absent communication, which is why sometimes what is happening under the surface of certain relationships remains unseen.
An interesting fact is that approximately 90% of communication is non-verbal, creating confusion when what is expressed verbally does not match the body language, feelings or energy vibes.
Also, effective communication is not just expressing personal opinions and being heard but actively listening to the other point of view, emphasising and using compassion instead of rejection or judgement.
So, the best way to navigate conflict is through open and honest communication and noticing why it is so hard to express yourself or listen to others in certain circumstances.
I have found that one of the most common reasons people stop communicating is fear, and depending on individual circumstances, there can be many reasons to be fearful or blocked.
You may fear being misunderstood and judged, wonder if you will get hurt, feel confused and overwhelmed, or be very prideful or lack humility.
People struggle to see and move behind them when they get entangled or stuck in lower emotions for too long, such as anger, grief, frustration, disgust, sadness and fear. On the other hand, when life's events are properly digested, not rushed through or denied, the shifting process inevitably starts towards higher and more profound feelings that will lead the person to broader perspectives and maturity.
When the emotional plan settles, the trigger or ping-pong reaction stops, and we start processing and acting consciously. Lower impulses no longer lead us; we tame them to achieve better resolutions and make more mindful choices.
Allowing conscious and ongoing communication when navigating through conflicts can help us see objectively, stop taking everything personally, clear misunderstandings and allow the human self to soften, accepting that we all make mistakes, but that does not mean that we have to be condemned or blame others for eternity.
Mistakes are fantastic opportunities if we accept the challenge with curiosity instead of fear. Keeping the communication channels open when it is not dangerous and we are not at risk of harm or abuse is a sign of maturity, self-awareness and compassion towards ourselves and others.
It is a beautiful experience when a space for expansion and understanding is given and offered; It makes the world a better place! Of course, to reach this ideal space, all the parties involved in the conflict must agree to work together, supporting each other equally.
What if there is no possibility of communicating becouse the counterpart has shut me down or is no longer available?
This may complicate things a little because you will have to find an effective way to work things through yourself, accepting that some questions may never get the answer you wish. Part of this process is learning to respect and honour their decision, even if you disagree.
People have different timing in processing events, which can be frustrating if we want to move on and resolve the issue now, and if the person we want to talk with is no longer alive, it may complicate things even further.
In my work, even though we may not be given a chance in some circumstances to have direct communication, we can still work through the issue successfully.
First, I always suggest sitting with the uncomfortable feelings and letting them be, working through "impatience", and allowing all that is to be without control.
Then we start expressing the feelings as they come; I use specific visualizations techniques to facilitate the process, allowing all the words kept inside to be released and get "out of the chest … but also stomach, throat and other places".
Usually, after releasing the blocked emotions, things start to untangle, and as we listen to what we need it to say, things lose their emotional charge or intensity.
As the emotional clouds start dissolving and you hear yourself, you will see the situation more clearly, and peace may find a way within, so even if you didn't get to share with the other parties, you feel you have done your share and are available to do the work.
Expressing yourselves freely in a safe environment is a compelling way to restore inner balance, especially when we keep holding back for too long.
It is not a matter of who is right or wrong or who gets to win, but instead: I allow myself to be heard and share my side of the story without holding back. I no longer want to hold on to resentment or fear; I forgive myself and whoever is involved and make space for better experiences.
If you are curious about this work read more here…
